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Three questions

Three questionsA new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.

"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.

"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"

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The way to handle

The way to handleA doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?"

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Love report

Love reportA young man I know, who recently became law clerk to a prominent New Jersey judge, was asked to prepare a suggested opinion in an important case. After working on the assignment for some time, he proudly handed in a 23-page document.

When he got it back, he found a terse comment in the judge's handwriting on page 7:

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I Don’t Say “Hey”

I Dont Say HeyA lawyer e-mailed a client:

“Dear Jennifer!

Thought I saw you on the street the other day. Crossed over to say hello, but it wasn’t you, so I went back.

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This Lawyer is thorough…

This Lawyer is thoroughThe attorney tells the accused,

“I have some good news and some bad news.”

“What’s the bad news?” asks the accused.

“The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.”

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The case

The caseMy niece was dragged into court by a neighbor who complained about her barking dogs. At one point, the judge asked the neighbor a question. The neighbor didn’t reply.

“Sir, are you going to answer me?”

The neighbor leaped to his feet. “Are you talking to me?” he asked.

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